There’s something I don’t talk about as clinically as investing.

My TTC journey.

Trying to conceive has been one of the most disorienting experiences of my adult life.

Not because it’s tragic.
Not because it’s dramatic.

But because it is unknown.

And I am someone who builds plans.

📋 I Know How to Plan

I can build:

• A 5-year investment projection

• A retirement withdrawal strategy

• A tax optimization model

• A content calendar six months ahead

I am comfortable with structure.

I trust systems.

I believe in preparation.

TTC does not care about your spreadsheet.

🧠 You Can Plan… But Not Really

Yes, technically you can plan.

You can:

• Track cycles

• Schedule appointments

• Take supplements

• Time ovulation

• Read studies

You can do everything “right.”

And still not know.

Still not control.

Still not predict.

It’s a very specific kind of surrender.

💭 The Uncomfortable Middle

Trying to conceive lives in the middle.

Not pregnant.
Not not trying.
Not sure what this month will bring.

You make plans...
but every plan has an asterisk.

“Maybe I’ll be pregnant then.”
“Maybe I won’t.”
“Maybe we’ll know more.”
“Maybe we won’t.”

You can plan around it.
But you can’t plan it.

And for someone wired for structure?

That’s confronting.

📈 Investing vs TTC

With investing, I accept probability.

I know:

• Markets fluctuate

• Returns aren’t guaranteed

• Timelines aren’t exact

But I still trust long-term trends.

With TTC, probability feels different.

Because it’s not abstract.

It’s deeply personal.

You can’t diversify it.
You can’t dollar-cost average it.
You can’t rebalance your way into clarity.

You just… wait.

💗 The Lesson I Didn’t Expect

The biggest lesson TTC has taught me is this:

Planning is powerful.
But it is not the same as control.

You can prepare your body.
You can optimize your environment.
You can gather data.

But there’s a point where you have to soften.

And that is not a skill I naturally lean toward.

Living in the Unknown

The unknown is uncomfortable.

We are wired to close loops.

Get answers.
See results.
Measure progress.

TTC does not move on your timeline.

And it has forced me to sit in:

• Patience

• Uncertainty

• Hope without guarantees

That’s a vulnerable place.

🌱 What This Is Teaching Me

It’s teaching me that:

Not everything compounds on a predictable chart.

Not everything responds to effort immediately.

Not everything can be optimized into certainty.

And that doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means you’re human.

💗 A Quiet Reflection

I still plan.

That’s who I am.

But I’m learning to hold plans more lightly.

To say:

“We’ll make space for this.”

Instead of:

“We’ll control this.”

And maybe that’s growth too.

💌 NurseMoneyDate® Bottom Line

If you’re in a season where:

• You’re trying

• You’re waiting

• You’re hoping

• You’re planning… but not really

You’re not behind.

You’re not doing it wrong.

Some seasons are about discipline.

Some seasons are about surrender.

And sometimes, strength is not in tightening your grip.

It’s in learning to soften it.