🤍 A TTC Update: Pressing Pause
A few months ago, I wrote about what trying to conceive was teaching me about control.
At the time, we had been trying for three months, and I was wrestling with the reality that not everything in life follows a timeline.
Not everything can be optimized.
Not everything can be planned into existence.
Since then, Harrison and I have made a decision.
We've decided to press pause on our TTC journey for now.
And interestingly, that decision has taught me a different lesson entirely.
Sometimes the Plan Changes
When we first decided to start trying, it wasn't a spontaneous decision.
We had conversations.
We thought about our future.
We looked at our finances.
We talked about timing.
We talked about our goals.
We talked about the life we wanted to build.
At the time, starting a family felt like the next right step.
And I still believe it was the right decision for us then.
But over the last several months, we've found ourselves reflecting on what we want this next season of life to look like.
And the answer surprised us.
For now, we want more time.
More time together.
More time to travel.
More time to build our business.
More time to enjoy the flexibility we currently have.
And honestly, more time to focus on our health.
Over the past year, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to prepare for parenthood.
At first, I viewed preparation primarily through the lens of finances.
Building savings.
Increasing our net worth.
Creating stability.
Planning for future expenses.
Those things still matter.
But as we've reflected on this next chapter, we've realized that preparation is about more than money.
It's also about how we feel physically.
How we care for our bodies.
How we prioritize our health.
How we show up for ourselves today.
Rather than rushing into the next season, we're choosing to spend some time investing in ourselves first.
Not because we're trying to achieve some perfect level of readiness.
But because we want to enter that chapter feeling as healthy, energized, and grounded as possible.
Not forever.
Just for now.
I Used to Think Readiness Was Permanent
I think one of the assumptions I carried was that once you decide you're ready for something, you're supposed to stay ready.
As if readiness is a finish line.
You cross it once and that's that.
But life has felt far more nuanced than that.
You can genuinely feel ready for something.
And later realize you want something different.
You can move toward a goal.
And later decide to pause.
You can make a decision with complete conviction.
And still change course as you gather new information about yourself and your life.
Changing Your Mind Doesn't Mean You Were Wrong
This is the lesson I'm currently sitting with.
For a long time, I viewed changing directions as evidence that the original plan wasn't right.
Now I'm starting to see it differently.
Sometimes changing directions isn't a sign of confusion.
It's a sign of self-awareness.
It's acknowledging that you're allowed to evolve.
You're allowed to reassess.
You're allowed to choose differently than you would have six months ago.
The Older I Get, The More I Realize...
There are very few perfect timelines.
There is no perfect age to have children.
No perfect age to start a business.
No perfect age to move across the world.
No perfect age to retire.
Life isn't nearly as linear as I once thought it would be.
And perhaps that's what makes it beautiful.
What This Means For Us
For now, we're choosing to embrace this chapter.
We're choosing to enjoy the freedom we currently have.
We're choosing to continue building a life that feels aligned with our values.
And someday, we may decide it's time to start trying again.
But we're giving ourselves permission not to have every chapter figured out today.
🤍 A Thought I'll Leave You With
If there's something in your life that you've recently changed your mind about, I hope you know this:
You don't need to justify every pivot.
You don't need to prove that your original plan was wrong.
And you don't need permission to change course.
Sometimes growth isn't sticking to the timeline.
Sometimes growth is being honest enough to admit that the timeline no longer fits.
And sometimes the bravest thing we can do is trust ourselves enough to make a different choice than the one we thought we'd make.